IKEA

Last night I discovered the wonderful world of IKEA. My friend Brittney Bell Thompson is a master at decorating and she goes to the Ikea frequently. So when she heard that I had never been to the Ikea and neither had our friend Brittney Johnson Alonzo, she about flipped and we immediately planned a road trip.

After work last night, we drove down to the far end of the Salt Lake valley and didn't come back until the car was stuffed full! Ikea is such an experience. First, you go upstairs and walk through the maze of beautiful apartments they have set up. It takes a couple of hours, if you do it right. Then after you've written down everything you like in the apartments you walk back down the stairs to the warehouse to pick it all up. I spent way too much money and I plan on going back to get more. There is an enormous amount of cool stuff at that store.

I think my favorite part of the whole Ikea experience was riding on the carts in the parking lot. Seriously fun!!! You must try this. :)

A Few Things

I just have a few things I'd like to say today.

First and foremost - I have a certain super good friend in the Boston area that reads my blog, we will call her Fabulous! I love this friend dearly and I would love her even more if she would comment on my blog. Ha ha ha. :) Do it. Do it!

Second - A few weeks ago I wrote about my horrific experience with a massage. Update: I have not yet gone to get a massage, I'm still planning on it but just haven't gone yet. I did, however, decide that I will not be getting a massage at Massage Envy. My reasons for this decision can be found here.

Rockstar Birthday Party

Last night we celebrated McKaleigh's 10th Birthday. We played board games and had a BBQ. The food was absolutely amazing! David made an assortment of delicious meats, including: hamburgers, hot dogs, brats, smoked ribs and smoked chicken. A-freakin-mazing!!

The kids loved the hot dogs and the ribs.

They also loved the cake - those Costco bakers make a fine cake.

Here's the birthday girl enjoying a slice of the delightful Costco cake.

I think the most exciting part of the night was when Kaleigh got Rockband!

I think Rockband is my new favorite game. It is so much fun!

Every one took turns playing each part in the band.

We started out with Kaleigh on drums, Colt on the guitar and Josh singing.

Colt absolutely kills at the guitar!

I think he takes after his Aunt Staci, aka The Queen of all things Rockband.

(side note - Staci really is the Queen of all things Rockband, there is nothing she can't do)

Here are my super cute shoes - perfect for pounding out a beat.

I loved playing the drums, I think that's my favorite thing to do.

Or at least it was, until . . .

I got a 99% on Vocals!!! Can I get a Wahoo!!! I have some serious skills!

No really, I do - Rockband told me so. :)

What a fun night!

Happy Birthday Kaleigh!!!!

Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden

Last night was the final class in my education of All Things Golf.

I had so much fun with Arin and Holly!

Since I am now an avid golfer, I thought it was about time I bought some clubs. My decision to invest in some golf clubs started at the Target Superstore.

I heart the Target Superstore, oh so much! I love how you can go in for 1 bottle of face wash and come out with a truck load of "Oh yeah, I need that" stuff. The trick to shopping at Target is working the end caps. That's where they keep all of the clearance items, and it's the clearance items that are the core foundation for my love of the Target Superstore. You just never know when you're going to need the Ron Popeil Flavor Injector or the Mini Football Crockpot - but you do know that they will always be on the end cap of isle 15A for half off. Or what about all those cutesy seasonal things - jackpot! Oooo ooo ooo and don't even get me started on the dollar section, what fun little finds those are! :) I should warn you though - if you are one of those people who have a hard time with restraint when it comes to buying Ron Popeil gadgets or outdated seasonal items, this could be a very dangerous pastime. Always remember the old saying: "Moderation in All Things."

Whoa! That was a weird tangent. :) Where was I? Oh yeah - my golf clubs. I had been looking at this cute little red set for about a week. So after our chipping class on Monday night, I took Arin to look at them. She agreed that they were indeed super cute and perfect for my skill level. I already had the box in my cart, ready to purchase when Arin decided to call her husband, Troy, just to be sure I was getting some good clubs. It was really lucky for me that Troy and his friend, Matt, are golf experts. They told me how to measure the clubs to see if they fit me and as it turns out the red set of clubs were too short. I must have longer legs than the average female golfer because all of the women's clubs were too short for me. So, Arin and I turned around to the other side of the isle to look at the men's clubs. That's when I found them - the Yellow Cougars! I was instantly attracted to them. So sleek and beautiful and yet, still something so bamf about them.

They were a perfect fit! So I unloaded the red womens set and replaced it with the slightly longer Yellow Cougars. It wasn't until I already had them in my cart that I noticed the little red clearance tag. Heck Yes!!! I really couldn't believe it at first. I was getting more clubs and a better bag for less than any other set there. Yay! :) This is exactly why I love the Target Superstore.

Hello pretty new golf clubs!

Oh and those are my new golf shoes. I really am a golfer now! :)

ps - I know that golf is not an acronym "Gentlemen Only, Ladies Forbidden". I still think it's funny and just a little bit clever though.

Here's a little bit of trivia for you: The word "golf" derives from older languages and dialects. In this case, the languages in question are medieval Dutch and old Scots. The medieval Dutch word "kolf" or "kolve" meant "club." It is believed that word passed to the Scots, whose old Scots dialect transformed the word into "golve," "gowl" or "gouf." By the 16th Century, the word "golf" had emerged.

Dropping the Ball

My little Hank is growing up so fast. Last week, Nick and I decided to put a new muffler on Hank to make him sound more manly. Okay - it improves gas mileage and the overall performance of the car - but my favorite part is that it sounds really cool. I found a sound bite of a similar muffler if you want to hear it. :)

Desperate Housewife?

Question: Is it possible to be a Housewife if you're neither a homeowner nor a wife?

If so, count me in! My friends, Arin and Holly, and I decided to take a golf class together. Correction, not just any golf class, the Women's Only Clinic. I have never felt so much like a Desperate Housewife in my life and I'm not even a housewife - it's awesome! :)

We started our class on Monday night and went back for another lesson on Wednesday night. Fifteen or so lovely ladies who want to learn how to golf, whether it be to play with their husbands or just for the heck of it, like me. The other ladies are good, but the three of us are tearin' it up out there. Here are some of our awesome action shots:

You can't see my ball because it went over that mountain way in the back.

I'm telling you the truth! :)

Arin hits it perfectly every time. I say, nice form!

Ps- Arin was kind enough to give me some pointers that improved my game immensly.

Holly absolutely destroys the ball!

I think I actually heard the ball crying from the beating Holly gave it.

Next up? Putting. So stay tuned! :)

A Little Mud's Never Hurt Nobody

(**edit** The nickname of "Large Marge" was voted out by a majority of my readers. "Large Marge" is now referred to as "Hard Core Beks" or "HC")

It's a typical summer Sunday afternoon, we've already been to church, had our nappers, eaten a mid-day meal and watched several infomercials. So what's next? Muddin' of course!

There are several names for this activity: Muddin', Wheelin, Jeepin', Rock Climbin' and the list goes on - as long as it involves a Jeep and you drop the "g" any word for this activity will work. In this case, we are definitely going to use the term Muddin'. You'll see why in a second.

As previously mentioned, it's a summer afternoon and a nice one at that, so we decided to take Hank's top off. You're probably wondering why in the world is the top not already off - it's June 8th for goodness sakes! Let's not even go there - it's been a sore subject for me for a good 6 weeks now. Stupid Freakishly Cold and Unpredictable Weather! But it was actually a nice day - so off went the top and in went the four wanna-be adventure hunters. What started out as a nice leisurely drive in the mountains soon turned into one of the most gruesome epics of all time!

(Names and locations have been changed in order to protect the witnesses.)

Notorious N.I.C. and Mare Bear were busy fixing the broken headlight on Mare Bear's motorcycle while Chester sat quietly observing, an odd occurrence for Chester since he often offers advice based on the fact that he is actually quite knowledgeable in all things. Hard Core Beks was also busy, it was her job to find suitable blankets and warm clothing for the upcoming adventure. Notorious and the Bear had just finished securing the last screw on the still broken headlight just as HC's patience ran out. "Hey ya'll! Are we goin' or what!" yelled HC, in a rather commanding voice. Notorious, a scrappy young fella rushed right over out of excitement. He sheepishly eyed the drivers seat but was determined to play the humble card and went for the passenger door instead. HC gave Notorious a curious look and shoved the keys into his hand. "I thought we'd already talked about this." said HC with a grin. "Really?!" Notorious beamed. HC chuckled slightly "yes, Notorious, you're drivin', lets go already!" It was all Notorious could do not to jump up and down right there. It was the first time Notorious got to drive Good Ol' Hank, a task he had longed for since their meeting three weeks earlier. HC, in the passenger seat and the Bear, in the back, got situated with their blankets placed snuggly over their laps as they waited for Chester who was not-small in stature, try to squeeze into the tiny Jeep. "HC, could you scooch your chair up a little? Chester is cramped back here!" whined the Bear. "Oh yeah, sorry Chester." HC said as she quickly adjusted her seat. "Ready?" Notorious said anxiously. To that he got a unanimous "Ready!" from the other three.

HC, the stellar navigator that she is, coached Notorious through the unfamiliar streets and they arrived at their destination no more than five minutes later. The four of them wound their way up the bumpy trail of the mountain side for what seemed like hours but in all actuality was only twenty minutes or so. They hadn't needed the four-wheel drive yet but once they got to Landbuck Trail, Hank was forced to push his pride aside and allow HC to climb under the Jeep to adjust the four-wheel drive. HC emerged from under the Jeep covered in dirt, mud and grease. Lucky for the other three still sitting comfortably in the Jeep, HC is one heck of a tuff girl and she wasn't about to let a messy shirt and hands get her down. "A little mud's never hurt nobody!" HC said proudly and once again they were off on their adventure.

Skipping over rocks and boulders, Hank flew down the side of that mountain. Hank and Notorious seemed to get along famously, which was evidenced by Notorious' comment of "my cheeks hurt", no doubt from the perma-grin that had been painted on his face ever since they left the house. With only a few complaints from tree branches to the face, it seemed as if the Bear and Chester were having an equal amount of fun canoodling in the back seat.

As they rounded the last corner of the trail, HC spotted two of the most beautiful mud puddles she had ever seen. Just as Notorious was about to ask "Which way now?" HC interjected with "How about if we check out those mud puddles?" which broadened Notorious' smile to an unmeasurable size. The first puddle was, as I like to say, easy peasy lemon squeezy. Hank rolled through that muddy water as if it were a pile of bubbles that parted with the slight breeze coming from Hank's engine. At this time all four passengers were shouting with joy and excitement, urging Notorious to do it again. Notorious whipped around faster than they could catch their breath and dove straight into the next puddle. It was about 5 seconds before all of them realized this puddle was much deeper than the last. They came to a screeching halt when they hit a wall of impenetrable earth. Hank started to smoke from water touching the sensitive parts of his underbelly. Notorious quickly threw it into reverse and stomped on the gas pedal. Just then a geyser of muddy water shot 20 feet straight up into the air and in slow motion came crashing down upon the four passengers. Screams only dogs could hear came out of the Bears mouth as the shower of mud and slime continued to pour. Mid-stream HC turned to Notorious and, bearing all her teeth, laughed harder than she ever has, ensuring a healthy amount of mud clots to get glued to her once-white teeth.

Through all his efforts, Hank just couldn't get out of the vast ocean of muck that once looked so appealing. Notorious kept trying to rock it back and forth, time after time, but Hank just seemed to sink deeper and deeper. By this time, the Bear had had enough mud, slime, muck and yuck. Her new hoodie was ruined and her favorite blanket was soaked and smelly. So the Bear took her chance to exit the vehicle and leave the unplunging of Hank to the rest of us. She was, however, ready with phone in hand to call any and all truck owners to rescue us.

Chester hopped on the back bumper in an effort to distribute the weight in the car in a different way. Well as luck may have it, the readjustment of the weight did the trick and Hank, the proud and sturdy Jeep that he is, wrestled his way out of that sticky mess, like only a champ would do. This is, after all, what Hank lives and breathes for.

All passengers were loaded back into the vehicle and they spent the next 20 minutes of the drive home recounting each members version of the nights event. As soon as they got home they grabbed the camera to memorialize this momentous evening.

Chester, Mare Bear, Notorious N.I.C. and Hard Core Beks

1 Car Wash . . . $20.00 4 Loads of Laundry . . . $12.00
2 Pairs of New Sunglasses . . . $30.00
. . .
1 Happy Hank . . . Priceless!

Tag of the Eights

Lindsey just tagged me - my first actual tagging. Yay! I feel like I'm a certified blogger now. :) Before, I would blog stalk people and I would just copy other tags that I found interesting - but this time it's real! I feel like I've been a rookie who has to sit on the bench and now I finally get to play in the game. Isn't it wonderful?!

For all of you readers out there, you must now get to know me whether you want to or not. Wait, . . . that doesn't really make sense, does it? Because the truth is if you don't actually want to get to know me you can just stop reading right now. Well, how about this - if you would like to know some random facts about me, please continue reading.

8 THINGS I LOVE / I'M PASSIONATE ABOUT:

Family

Church

Friends

Shoes

Hank

Food

Movies

Having Fun

~

8 BOOKS I'VE READ AND ENJOYED:

(for this one I decided to do Authors because usually when I find a book I like, I'll read and enjoy more books from the same author)

Stephenie Meyer

JK Rowling

Dan Brown

Nicholas Sparks

John Grisham

JRR Tolkien

Jane Austen

Martha & Staff

~

8 PHRASES OR WORDS I SAY OFTEN:

What's Happenin'?

Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy

The Hell!

Freakin' Awesome!

Definitely

Heck Yes!

Oops!

Oh My Goodness

~

8 THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:

Kids & Family

Take Violin Lessons Again

Go to Greece

Have a Freakin' Awesome Kitchen

Sing Karaoke

Build a House I've Designed

Go on a Mission

Learn to Ride a Motorcycle without Crashing

~

8 THINGS I'VE LEARNED OR REMEMBERED THIS PAST YEAR:

How to make Chicken Parmigiana

Family is Most Important

How to Snowboard - ehhh, kind of

Cruises are the Best Way to Travel

My Friends are Amazing

How to Golf

I Love Camping

Fish is Good

~

8 PEOPLE I WANT TO TAG:

Arin

Josh & Staci

Jaycee

Brittney Bell

Juli

Anna

Brittney Johnson

Amy and Jen

(I'm tagging Amy and Jen even though Arin will be mad that I tagged her sisters first - ha ha!)

Dark Chocolate

So here's the deal - lately I've been feeling like I want to be more grown up. I don't know why but my care-free, livin' with the folks, buying whatever I want whenever I want it, stayin' up all night, only being accountable to myself - days are just not as appealing anymore. I've been calling this my quarter-life crisis, and maybe we should take the "buying whatever I want whenever I want it" part out of that equation because if we're being honest - that's always appealing, right? But it's true, lately I've been wanting to grow up. Here's the question though: How does one go about growing up? I've considered drastically changing my hair. Would that work? Or I thought for a brief moment about buying a condo. That only lasted 2 weeks until I figured out that a mortgage = no more cruises for a really long time. Boo!

That's all I've come up with so far, a haircut and moving out of my parents home. I haven't done either one of them yet, and I'm sure they will both help me in my cause but for some reason I don't think those two changes will automatically kick me up to grown up status. But I think I figured out what might . . .

Today, not more than 20 minutes ago, I went to the candy jar I keep in my office to get my daily post-lunch fix. When I got there I knew exactly what I wanted but I didn't see it right off the bat. I gave the jar a good tousle or two but to no prevail. The item I was searching for was no where to be found. The Milky Way Midnight. A pleasing combination of dark chocolate, golden caramel and vanilla nougat, a true delight for any and all taste buds. After not finding it in the jar I went straight for the bag in the bottom drawer. That's where I keep all of the extra candy that doesn't fit in the jar. I was saddened to find the bag free from all Milky Way Midnights, as well. So I went back to the jar to find my next goody of choice - the Kit Kat Dark Chocolate. But do you think I could find any in the jar? Nope! None in the bag either. What the crap, man! This lack of all things dark chocolate was really making me angry. That's when it dawned on me. I had made the switch, but when? Was it while I was attending the Snow College? No, no - I recall still loving milk chocolate during college. Was it during that initial year as a runner for first the law firm I worked for? Wrong again. I remember quite clearly giving the stink eye to a couple of attorneys who requested I buy dark chocolate candies for them. How could anyone prefer dark to milk? Pfff! Stupid attorneys.

See, I used to hate dark chocolate, I was a milk chocolate girl all the way. I wouldn't even go near a piece of dark chocolate when I was a kid. So what happened between the stink eye and my new found love of the darkness? Answer - I grew up. That must be it! - there is no other explanation for it. You see, only grown ups like dark chocolate. Or at least that is the myth that I have always believed and I'm not giving up on it today. Today that myth works for me. Maybe because I've been in search of that one element that will push me over the line I've been walking on for so long, the kid vs. grown up line. Or maybe because it's just the plain and simple truth. I don't know what the reason is, but what I do know is that all of a sudden I have a greater urge to get a haircut and move into my own place. I can't be eating dark chocolate with this mediocre haircut in my parents home. No way.

So there it is, I am officially a grown up. It's kind of like magic! Ta Da! :)

Now what? . . .

Joshy Squashy

Happy Birthday to you . . .

Happy Birthday to you . . .

Happy Birthday to The Squash!

Happy Birthday to you. :)

Today is Joshy Squashy's 26th Birthday! Sunday night we had everyone come over to celebrate The Squash's birthday. It was so much fun! We had tons of food, including my fabulous Creamy Chicken Pasta Salad, Mary's now famous Homemade Ice Cream and Staci's always good Fun-Fetti Birthday Cake. I wish I had some better pictures but my camera was being stupid right about the time Josh and Wilbur decided to wrestle. Oh! was that a sight to see! Happy Birthday Josh! You really are a great brother. :)

Remember That One Time . . . Massage

Arin and I were IMing today, as usual, and one topic of conversation triggered a memory:

The first and only time I have ever had a professional massage.

About 3 years ago I was working for an attorney who had a secret indulgence of getting professional massages. Since this indulgence did not involve sports of any kind it was not held with the highest regard among the other men in the office, hence the need to keep it secret. I was the only one he told, which turns out was a big mistake on his part because, as we all know, I am horrible at keeping secrets, especially ones that I find mildly amusing. One day this attorney told me he would like to send me to his masseuse to get a massage. A reward for being the good little secretary that I am. :) I was a little hesitant at first but decided that everyone should get a professional massage at least once in their life, and why not right now, since it was a gift and all.

I walked into the building with expectations of a beautiful spa. Instead I was greeted with damp air in a dark office building and the smell of mold. The masseuse came out of his office and showed me into the massage room, which was even darker than the last and was reeking with horrible incense. The masseuse was a rather large man with red hair and slightly on the anti-attractive side. He turned on some "soothing" music and asked me to undress according to my level of comfort, get under the sheet and he would be right back in. As he left the room I was thinking to myself Level of comfort? What level of comfort? I'm already uncomfortable! Taking my clothes off would just make this even more awkward! But I did it anyway because that's what they do in the movies, right? I left my underwear on though, I figured there was no need to take off my underwear since that portion of me would always be covered by the sheet. So, face down under the sheet I went. A few seconds later the large, red-headed masseuse came in. He described that this was a 1 hour deep tissue massage and that if at any time I felt pain I was to let him know. Pain? The Hell! Are you serious?!! I thought all massages where supposed to feel good, like butterflies dancing on your skin. But I agreed and he started right away. Can you guess where he started? The Buttocks! Well, hello there! How do you do? Nice to meet ya, buddy! I was so completely, 100% uncomfortable that I clenched my butt muscles as hard as I could and I never relaxed after that. Thank goodness for the boyshorts underwear I was wearing that day. Seriously, thank freakin goodness! He moved on to do my legs and feet then my back, that's when he brought the pain. Oh my goodness, deep tissue massages hurt like an MFer (If I had any guts I'd say the real words because that is the only true way to describe it, but this is a family site folks, come on!) I told him about 30 times that it was too hard, way too hard Sir. But he kept going and I gave up on telling him and gave in to the tears streaming down my face. At last, it was over! Or so I thought . . . he then told me to flip over so he could massage my stomach. My stomach? The Hell! Who in the world would get their stomach massaged? But I did it anyway. Then the comment to make all other awkward comments that he had said thus far just go right out the window. "Wow, you have nice ab muscles. Do you work out a lot?" Excuse me! Did this rather large red-headed masseuse with a wife and three kids (I know because he showed me the picture on the way into the room) actually just say that to me? Ahhhh get me out of here! . . . was what I was thinking but of course didn't say because I'm such a pansy. No, no - instead I just gave an annoyed laugh and prayed that this awful massage would end in the next 10 seconds, please, oh please, oh please! And it did. Whew! :)

And that, children, is why you should never go to a strange, smelly office building to get a massage. The end.

My boss asked me a few days later if I would like to become a regular patient and gave me the masseuses card. I smiled, took it and as soon as I got back to my desk I threw it in the garbage. I know what you're thinking . . . I should have spit on it and torn it up into a million little pieces, right? Patient? Hmph! Patient of what, pain?!

Well anyway - it's been 3 years and I think I'm ready to try this massage thing again. This time I have some rules though: a) Arin must go with me; b) I will only go to a place with the word Spa somewhere in the name; and c) I will be ordering the "non-painful, feels like butterflies dancing on my skin, performed by a nice lady masseuse" massage.