I work in an office that receives a ton of solicitors. I never know how to handle solicitors. Should I be rude? Should I cut them off? Should I ask them to leave now and never come back? Or should I listen to they're whole schpeal and kindly refuse them after they are done?
Unless I'm in a horribly foul mood, I usually listen to the whole schpeal.
Sometimes it's entertaining and other times I want to gouge out my own eyeballs and stick them in my ears so I don't have to see or listen to another damn solicitor. But that's usually only on the extremely horrible days, like a few weeks ago when the Mary Kay ladies came into my office. I'm surprised their Mary Kay make-up didn't melt right off their faces from the stink eye I was giving them.
Today, however, the most entertaining solicitor came in. I wasn't at all interested in what she had to sell, instead, it was just her appearance and the way she spoke just fascinated me. I let her talk for a good ten minutes before I remembered that I didn't actually want to buy anything from her. She looked like a real-live muppet. Her eyes stuck out about an inch from the sockets, her hair was perfectly coiffed and her body had this kind of natural lerpyness to it. But the best part was the way she spoke. She didn't move her mouth at all. Her lips and jaw didn't even move a millimeter. But, like a very talented ventriloquist, I could understand every word she said without even a hint of a slur. It was fascinating. Absolutely fascinating.
2 reader comments:
I wish we had solicitors that came into my office. It would kind of be poetic justice.
I swear I know that lady. Was she selling business website design? We call her pod person lady, because it seems like eventually she'll just peel her skin off an out will pop some alien.
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