The Saddest Day . . . Part Three

The boys at the Big O Tire shop were so impressed, fifty bucks per tire really was a steal of a deal. We quickly became friends as we talked about our super cool jeeps and the places we'd been. I didn't feel it was necessary to explain that I was too big of a pansy-ass to ever get in the driver’s seat and was constantly a passenger in my own vehicle. No, no, it wasn't necessary at all, it would just break they’re poor little hearts. The boys and I discussed strategy as to where I should put the new BFG tires. We ended up putting both of them on the rear axle and replacing the spare with one of the Goodyears. I drove away with my head held high and a smirk on my proud face as the Big O boys waved goodbye.

These new tires felt great! After driving on the teeny-tiny 33”spare for a couple of days, it was nice to feel level again. I still had three tires in the back seat of my Jeep. One of the tires was my “new” spare that was waiting for the day when I would finally put it where it belongs on the tire swing. My old spare was in there too – and even though I had no use for it, I decided to keep it around just in case one of my siblings ever needed it. But I had no idea what I was going to do with that awful All-Terrain Big Foot. Since I am a Mud-Terrain purist, even the site of that disgusting thing made me cringe. I wanted it out of my jeep as quickly as possible. But how? I suddenly got a wonderful idea – I’ll sell it! – yes, what a perfect idea.

My good friend, Brittney Bell Thompson, had mentioned a few weeks earlier that she was planning a pot-luck garage sale and that I was supposed to bring something to sell. I had been racking my brain for days trying to think of something to sell. Brittney suggested selling some of my beloved shoes. Blasphemous! Right?!! Well, calm down, it’s not her fault. She didn't know that I had already purged forty pairs of shoes from my collection last fall. (*Explanation to come in a future post.*) It was perfect timing. I needed something to sell and I just happened upon an extra $150 tire that I got for “free”. I immediately called Brittney to tell her the good news. However, Brittney was not as excited as I was. She didn't really want to try to sell a stupid tire, no matter how much I talked it up. She agreed, though, and a few days later it was sitting in her parents’ drive-way with a $5 sticker on it.

The day after the garage sale, Brittney called me to let me know how much money I had made from the ugly tire. A big, fat Nothin! The tire did not sell. That wretched tire was still at the Bells house, causing them grief. I felt horrible and offered to come pick it up right away but Brittney insisted that it wasn't a big deal and offered to dispose of it for me.

A few weeks passed and not one thought of that stupid tire had even entered my mind. I attended a holiday BBQ at Brittney’s house and was having a nice conversation with her mother, Holly. She asked me how work was going and I reciprocated the question, and then Holly says to me “So, is that your [ugly] tire that has been dumped on the side of my house?” I was mortified! Holly’s house is immaculately beautiful and the thought of that insipid tire perched up against the garage wall, practically vandalizing their property, was just too embarrassing for me to handle. If I had only known that it was still there, I would have come weeks ago to pick it up. I told Holly I was sorry and that I would take care of it as soon as I could.

A few days later I hauled my brother-in-law, Jarred (aka best brother-in-law in the whole world) over to the Bell’s house to retrieve the hideous tire. I would have called first, but I didn't know their home phone number and Brittney wasn't being to hasty in her response from my text asking for it. So I just showed up unannounced. Cory, Brittney’s dad, answered the door and I cheerfully stated that I was here to pick up the pitiful excuse for a tire that had taken up residency on the side of their home. I really did slather on the cheer because it was apparent that I was interrupting some much need relaxation time. But, being the nice guy he is, Cory showed me around to the side of the house where Jarred and I extracted the dreadful tire.

We loaded it up and on the way back to Jarred’s house, somehow, I miraculously convinced him to take the tire.

Finally! I was rid it!

Or so I thought . . .

To be continued . . .